In Western culture, we are socialised from childhood to be capable, accommodating, and endlessly available. We are praised for being helpful, selfless, and resilient, yet often judged when we choose not to be.

By the time we become adults, this conditioning has shaped our invisible rule book that clearly affirms that everyone else should come first.

At work, this looks like taking on more than our fair share because it’s “just easier if I do it.”

At home and in our personal lives, it shows up as emotional load, logistics, and care taking, even when we are already stretched.

And internally, it reinforces a quiet pressure to stay agreeable, competent, and composed, even when the cost is exhaustion.

It’s not that we don’t value ourselves, it’s more that our culture rewards self-sacrifice and subtly punishes boundary-setting which we unintentially choose to abide by. So the result is that we allow our own needs to often slip to, and then stay at the bottom of the list.

Not from a lack of awareness or strength, but from decades of conditioning that we been taught (and accepted) that prioritising ourselves is selfish, indulgent, or even socially risky.

But the truth is that our personal needs are just as important as everyone elses, and have never be the problem.

The truth is that we actually need to prioritise ourselves for our families, our relationships, and for our future selves, because without ourselves, who do we actually have?